Grandma Ona

My Grandma Ona passed away last month, and though she had grown old and her health was failing, the suddenness of her passing was a blow.

My grandma was quite a woman.

She was tender, resourceful, active, tenacious, and hilarious. She lugged castaway furniture out of alleyways to give it new life; she cooked with plenty of butter as all good cooks do; she kept her fridge — and other corners of her house — well-stocked with candy (in this way, I always felt she was my kindred spirit), and she never judged me when I wanted to eat chocolate before and after every meal. She raised three kids after the sudden and very early death of her husband; she sent all her grandkids birthday cards every year; and she laughed readily and fully — especially at herself. She was marshmellow and steel, and we loved her for it.

Once, when we were kids, my sister, cousin Emily, and I stayed at my grandma's house for the weekend. We had a hankering for hard-boiled eggs that first morning at her house, so we plopped several eggs in a pan of boiling water, put the lid on the pan, and, before the eggs had finished cooking, we decided to go shopping. My grandma had a knack for finding a bargain and a hunch that the sales down the street would yield all sorts of treasures.

In our eagerness to hit the sales, we forgot about the boiling eggs, and when we returned from shopping, we were greeted with the overpowering stench of eggs-gone-bad. Upon walking into the kitchen, we noted the burner was on, the egg pan was empty, and the ceiling was splattered with the boiled eggs. It was a sulfuric Jackson Pollock, traces of which would stubbornly cling to the ceiling for many years to come. 

When my grandma saw that mess of goopy egg on the ceiling, she laughed fit to kill. Her shoulders shook, and tears welled up in her eyes, and the three of us girls joined her in deep belly laughter. For the rest of her life, whenever we revisited the egg incident, we laughed.

Last week my family sat in a circle and told stories about grandma. We revisited the egg incident, of course, and we remembered our last conversations with her; and when we were done remembering aloud, we planted a rose bush in her memory. When spring comes, it will yield sunset roses with petals of fuchsia, sherbet, amber, and crimson.

My siblings and I with grandma's rose

I think my grandma would have loved it.

© by scj


The Jacksons accomplished an incredible feat this Thanksgiving weekend: we were ALL in the same place!

And boy was our selfie game strong.

The sibs

One of the week's highlights was the presence of Copper, the pup my littlest brother and his wife got in early 2016.

Copper is Roo's older half brother.

Do you see the resemblance?

The two pups hadn't met before this weekend, so it was a ball to watch them meet. I was in dog heaven.

With Roo
With Copper

Copper is happy-go-lucky. His tail is always wagging, and every creature is a new friend. Roo, on the other hand, is a bit more cautious. She has to carefully assess a situation before engaging it fully.

Roo (on the left) assessing

Assessment phase #2 (getting more comfortable)

It didn't take Roo too long to determine that Copper was a worthy friend, and the two spent the weekend engaged in puppy play. They romped; they frolicked; and they raced around the house. Copper showed Roo how to stand on her hind legs and walk all over the kitchen sniffing for morsels of leftover turkey (have you ever seen a dog walk on his hind legs without extra support? It's remarkable! Turkey inspires truly amazing things, I suppose), and together, their begging techniques were almost irresistible.

Well, actually, they were absolutely, entirely irresistible. I was a turkey-dispensing softy as long as the two of them were together.

Oh my oh my: a world with dogs is a beautiful world, and a Thanksgiving with pups is the best kind of Thanksgiving.

I hope you had a celebratory and restful Thanksgiving, my friends.

Hopeful, light-filled Monday!

Cheering for you,


© by scj

Sam and Amy

My friend Sam got married yesterday.

I met Sam four years ago when he attended a Thanksgiving dinner I hosted.

Sam was in LA to pursue an MA in philosophy at Talbot, and I was teaching at Biola two mornings a week, so after that Thanksgiving dinner, we occasionally ran into each other on campus. We also attended the same church, and when I was well enough to go to Sunday service, we would see each other. With time, I observed enough of Sam to learn he was kind, generous, and diligent in prayer.

About two years ago, Sam emailed me. He'd read a recent blog post about the nightmarish turn in my health, and he wanted to tell me he was praying for me daily. He also shared that he was in New York City getting treated for a rare and especially deadly form of cancer. He wondered if he could encourage me in my battle with health problems since he was fighting his own.

A google search of Sam's form of cancer revealed he had a very slim chance of survival. In fact, yesterday his best man shared that when Sam was first diagnosed, he asked God to withhold the funding to start treatment if he wasn't going to survive. He didn't want his family to shoulder the financial burden of his medical bills if he wasn't going to live.

I have learned from mutual friends that Sam looked like a Holocaust victim as he lay in that hospital room, enduring round after round of chemo. His parents refused to leave his side during those months of treatment, and his closest friends wondered if the next phone call from New York would bring grievous news. 

Somehow, as Sam underwent chemotherapy, surgery, and experimental treatment, he found the fortitude to send me almost daily messages of encouragement. He sent me poems, songs, and Bible verses to buoy my spirits; he offered financial help for my medical bills; he suggested prescription medications when our symptoms overlapped; he offered to connect me with people in the area who could run errands for me; and he offered to forward my recent test results to his doctor friend. I often felt that I was the one who should be encouraging Sam, but looking back I can see that God wanted me to learn from Sam what it looks like to be bread broken and wine poured out for those in need.

When Sam first emailed me from New York, I felt trapped in the Valley of the Shadow of Death. Some days, the darkness of that valley made me quake in fear; other days, it made me want to die. But then Sam reached out, and he came alongside me in that valley, and he said, "With God's help, we will pass through this." Everyday, again and again: "God is with us, and he will carry us onward and upward." His presence and courage were God's astonishing grace to me.

My dear friend Sam is cancer-free today. He will finish his philosophy degree next month, and he and his new bride will move back to India where they will minister together as he begins work for Ravi Zacharias's ministry. I do not know Sam's wife well, but I know she is beloved by many. She is a nurse with a heart for India and a reputation for kindness, faithfulness, and generosity; and I am delighted she and Sam found each other.

Yesterday I kept trying to find the words to express what Sam and Amy's wedding meant to me, but I couldn't. I felt I was watching Sam stand on the mountaintop, his vibrant bride at his side, their families and friends hemming them in, their future full of hope, and the Valley of the Shadow of Death down below, behind him. The wonder that swelled inside of me was too big to be constrained by words

Dear Sam and Amy, what a joy it was to watch you embark on this new marriage-adventure together. I pray God's best for you, and I thank him that I get to be one of many who will be blessed by your union.

© by scj


The halls are decked with boughs of holly, and this baby Christmas tree is the most recent addition to my bedroom. I love getting ready for bed in the glow of twinkle lights.

Also, it has dipped below 60 degrees here in Orange County, which means it could snow any.minute.

It is officially QUILT WEATHER!

© by scj

Earthworm mode

I've come down with another cold — yet another encouraging sign of changes in my immune system. These colds have both triggered pretty bad neurological symptoms, so they're not my favorite sign of healing, BUT I have reached the congestion phase of the cold which, for whatever reason, means the neurological symptoms are quieter. It also means my head feels like a lava lamp.

Actually, I generally feel like an earthworm that has been flattened on the sidewalk and left to bake in the hot sun. These things happen when you are a student and teacher and it is the middle of November.

So, I've done the unthinkable: I've started playing Christmas music and pulling out Christmas decor BEFORE Thanksgiving.

Desperate times call for desperate measures.

Earthworm mode has me moving pretty slowly, but I'm hoping to have my Christmas tree up by this evening. Soon, this little earthworm will be basking in the glow of twinkle lights.

In the meantime, I'm shuffling between my favorite Christmas Pandora channels and marveling at how powerful Christmas music is. Songs act as folders that store our memories, don't they? Each of these Christmas songs carries such cozy, hopeful memories for me. If I am the droopy, deflated Frosty the Snowman yard decoration before turning on the Christmas station, then I am inflated, tall, and swaying in the California breeze after a few minutes of Christmas tunes.

I shan't encourage you to listen to Christmas music too strongly since playing it before Thanskgivng is so controversial, BUT if you are feeling rather earthworm-y, it couldn't hurt to flip on Pandora...

Hopeful, light-filled Friday, my friends.

Cheering for you!


Lava lamp-head/squashed earthworm/inflatable Snowman yard decoration-Sarah

© by scj


I need to make it clear to you that I have run out of patience and respect for Father Martin. Inside me, there is still a love for the man, but he is doing his best to pollute it.

Its really hard presenting the front end of THE LOST BOOK OF KING OG when there is so much bickering in the background.

Father Martin may present himself online as level-headed, but this "fear" thing has got to stop. In his fear, he is lashing out. He cultivates his fear and he relies on it. He lives by it, and he worships it. What I see is a man whose heavily taxed brain is descending into madness.  

That is your insight into the following  note that I have added to the Introduction Page of THE LOST BOOK OF KING OG:

*November 15, 2016 edit*                                                                                                      
Father Martin and I no longer work together. I 'd been nurturing the idea that our relationship would stabilize, but it hasn't. In his fervor to  embrace fear as a form of spiritual weaponry, he has become impossible to work with. Father Martin, I am afraid, is descending into madness. He lashes out, then apologizes.  This is all by email of course, so it is protracted and irritating.  After a series of disputes over this new evil that he speaks of we both decided to pause in all dealings with each other. This leaves me forced to take his truth and continue on without him. We will continue cooperating to finish making the LOST BOOK OF KING OG website, but frankly, I want to sock the man in the face. 

Serious. I'll break a Jesuit.                    



Chapter 2 of the LOST BOOK OF KING OG has been deemed cleared for publication. Again, my contract with  Father Martin demands that I have all of the chapters up in one continuous document. He won't budge on its presentation. What a Luddite. The best I can do is have a breakout here in my own blog.

Chapter 2 has been broken into 2 parts, A and B. I will only address 2A in this post.

My first impressions of this chapter are as follows:

1. Again, this seems to be much more intact than other chapters. There are no ellipses in this chapter. This means that the document was whole. There are italicized words throughout. Father Martin has really zeroed in on the closest words for translation into English. You will see that what he delivers is flawless and does not sound jarring to your inner ear.

2. The origin of the tradition of "circumcision" is a part of Chapter 2. King Og tells of how it all came about. He also makes it clear that the popularity of Nimrod with humans is why men still sport circumcised members to this day.

3. As far as I can tell, it is all antediluvian. This is all what was going down before the flood. It was a different map and record-keeping system with the Rephaim. I know that Father Martin has done a lot of traveling in order to link the text with real places here in today's world. Post-flood though, I don't know how he will be able to do it.

4. Again, wording throughout the text feels familiar in the sense that it is "Biblical sounding." I am forced to wonder how popular a document this was, because elements of the verbiage definitely show up later in in Old Testament. My suspicion is that these documents were passed around regularly until the memory of giants had faded a bit. 

I need to read it over a few more times for further insight. 




“You may put down your weapons, but my war still comes for your fecal mind and circumcised loins.” – Og to Nimrod

1It is through gnashing teeth that I give you full vent of my [bitterness]. My soul is downcast and disturbed. 2My [history] has become a fire, corrupting my whole life unto the [extinction] of the Rephaim. 3I tell this [terrible] [history] to Anak the Keeper of the Bodies before Baal, for its [transcription]. 4My [wrath] tends to evil words. Anger, [wrath], malice and obscene talk all fall from my lips as I speak. I still hold the Mot-worshiping Nimrod responsible for the death of the Rephaim and the full portion of my wrath. 5Nimrod, that brutish, circumcised hater of reproof, the one who has planted and watered the [gnarled] living [thicket] that is my loathing. I tell no lie, I loved not my brother whom I have seen, yet loved Baal of the earth whom I have not seen. [Although] Nimrod my brother no longer walks the land, my [blackened wrath] still [grows] for him in the darkness.
6The tale of Nimrod and his [quest] to carve the members of the men of his army, and the rest of the land forevermore with circumcision, does it not follow these very words transcribed by Anak?


7In the time before the Unspoken Mistake when Og’s land [heralded] Nimrod’s accomplishments, Nimrod was called the [Great Hunter] and a [killer] of large [Giants] and things.

8While on the battlefield, Nimrod did [sustain] a [loin] injury when he [engaged] the one-eyed Nephilim named Arge in warfare. 9That [very] same one-eyed Arge who fought alongside Og in the Hundred Thousand Giant War.
When Nimrod had wounded Arge in the [neck] with the [Driver and Chaser], Arge’s [unconscious] body fell to the ground with his outstretched hand [still grasping] his sword. The sword’s blade hit the ground and then [sliced] upward at Nimrod’s loins cutting [open] his foreskin. 10The skin of Nimrod’s [wounded] member hung, as a testimony to them all. He then escaped the battlefield. Arge’s [Giant] [army] soon heard of the wound and knew to [search] the loins of the dead Nephilim on the battlefield for the circumcision of Nimrod.

11Nimrod [knew] his own [vulnerability]. He then returned to his army and went to his tent. He took the flint of a mountaintop and [finished] his own circumcision and [bound] his loins in sackcloth. 12Nimrod then had the braids of his head shorn. He shaved his beard and his eyebrows and [anointed] his head with oil. His cup was then filled with wine. He [reclined] and considered. After a short spell, he arose and sacrificed [many] and beseeched Mot for a delay in battle. 13Nimrod then took the flint and circumcised 1000 Nephilim of his army. Those that refused were [cut down] by axe, [Chaser and Driver] and their Nephilim [bodies] were tied to trees for the beasts as tradition states. 14Mot caused a [bowel sickness] to afflict Arge’s army. Nimrod’s army rested and [healed] for five days while Arge’s army [recovered].

15And Nimrod said, “With the flint of a mountaintop, heaps upon heaps, I have circumcised a thousand men.” And is not the valley where Nimrod circumcised the Nephilim still called the Valley of First Foreskins to this day?

16On the sixth day, Nimrod and his army then went to war with no lower garments or [loin] coverings. The [armies] of Arge did not know which Nephilim was Nimrod in battle. One-Eyed Arge’s army [gazed] upon the [compromised] members of Nimrod’s army and were [befuddled] and  [dumbfounded] by them. 17Nimrod’s [Giants] then attacked with clubs, [Driver and Chaser], fists, [boulders] and [trees] and slew them all but One-eyed Arge and his bodyguards who escaped to the forests and mountains.

18When Nimrod became [ruler] of his [portion] of the great land he then [demanded] circumcision throughout all of his Nephilim kingdom. 19I, Og circumcised no males in my [land]. The Rephaim kept their members [intact].
20After Nimrod’s [mandated] circumcision, the seven year famine began, for Baal of the earth was displeased. The famine [from] Baal of the earth and consumed the land. The very earth itself was dry and stiff with wounds at this time.

21Then came the false [prophecy] from the Nephilim and Rephaim priests of Baal in both lands. The false [prophecy] led to the Unspoken Mistake and to [our] [extinction].

22I have [hated] everything Nimrod has loved, as I have [hated] his circumcised Nephilim Kingdom. If I hated my circumcised brother [Giant] and became a murderer of circumcised [Giants] because of my hatred, so be it. I have a place in the afterlife, Baal and Mot have [considered] my [oaths] between them and seen to it. Baal of the earth has [damned] Nimrod’s name to [eternally] mean fecal [minded] and simple. 23Nimrod’s name shall be [associated] with the [mad] desire to [maim] genitals [forevermore].

24For Nimrod grew like a young plant, like a root out of dry ground. He had form and majesty that we should all look at him, and beauty that we should desire him. He was [championed] by many. Still I despise and reject him. 25He became a [Giant] of sorrows, acquainted with grief. He was despised, and we esteemed him not. Circumcised Nimrod, the celebrated [forefather] of the [Tower] of the smaller selves. It is the fecal-bellied, half-membered Nimrod who killed us all. 26My hatred for Nimrod has become greater than any love I have [known]. I, Og have [exceedingly] and cruelly hated Nimrod. I, Og have [since] eradicated him from [existence]. I have [since] gathered and eaten all of Nimrod’s food stores and I have eaten [many] of his smaller selves. 27Baal of the earth empowered I, Og to rid the [land] of Nimrod. Baal of the earth despised the circumcision. And to whom did the powerful [arm] of Baal of the earth reveal itself to? I, Og.

28Are the tales of how I avenged the earth of that circumcised [Nephilim] for the loss of the [Moonchild] and more are they not told in this very chapter [transcribed] by Anak?


29Lestha Queen of the Rephaim and I, Og were bred from the [spoils] of a Rephaim [procreation harvest]. Born of worship to Baal of the earth. Born in the temple and [reared] in the high places. 30I, Og [trained] in both the [priesthood] of Baal and [with] the [Chaser and Driver] war [arts]. Lestha  [became] a sorceress before Baal of the earth, and a [trascriber] of words. 31Others born in the temple and [trained] in the high places at that time were Sihon-Ag my brother, Ohya, Hahaya, Mahway, Myre, Lathat the possessed, and Geryon the [heavy].

32[Before] the Hundred Thousand [Giant] War, before the [confused] circumcision and before the Unspoken Mistake – there was a [time] of lush success. Baal of the earth caused the waters to flow and for crops to flourish in all of the great land at that time. The great land [lived]. 33The [colors], [sounds] and [connections] of being in the land were [bright] and [different]. The feed [animals] were [sleek]. The herds of [lizard, elephant, and rhinoceros] prospered. Wine flowed. Fruit, nuts and honey were [plentiful]. Peace [ruled] all land. 34There were no smaller selves in that time. That was the [season] Baal of the earth [multiplied] the nation of the Rephaim. 35This was during the [foreign] war of Nimrod and Tarshan the [Giant]’s army. Tarshan the [Giant] who later [fought] on Og’s [behalf] in the Hundred Thousand Giant War.


36In our 300th year the panic of [childbirth] seized my wife Lestha after she had become [heavy] with [offspring]. She then bore [me] Ogias the Inheritor after [travailing] through great pain and labor. The [birthing] crippled Lestha. Afterward she was [bedridden] for 10 years.

37I took to [connecting] with [my offspring] Ogias. His breath became my breath. He became a good [prince] in the eyes of the kingdom and all who [surrounded] him. I taught him the ways of Baal of the earth,  the [managing] of [my] kingdom, [the ways] of the[giant] lizards, [the ways] of the elephants and rhinoceros, and [the ways] of floating wild beasts.

38I then taught Ogias [the ways] of [connection]. Through battle and through acquaintance he was  [connected]. From Baal of the [moon], [sun], [ground or earth] and the [host of the skies], to the animals, creeping things and floating wild beasts Ogias was [connected]. 39With favor, I favored him and with love, I loved him. I entered [covenant] with Ogias, because I loved him as my own soul. I then gave him the skin of Leviathan that I [had] worn for warmth. 40I then gave him [hammered] armor. I trained him with the [Driver and Chaser]. 41Ogias, the son of Og [proved] himself great in war before both Baal and the Rephaim. Because of Ogias’ strong ways of [connection] the [gonteekwa] soon chose him. Ogias then became the herdsman of [beast and lizard] between the groves of sycamore figs.

42When the Hundred Thousand Giant War [began], Ogias the Inheritor was but 75 years old. I, Og taught Ogias well. He was  a leader [over] many powerful [Giants] of war. 43Those with the floating beasts, [Drivers and Chasers], and [more]. Is not the tale of the Hundred Thousand [Giant] War as told to Anak the keeper of the Bodies not transcribed in this very book?


44In the [fourth] year of drought and frost by night, the false Rephaim and Nephilim priests of Baal of the earth, [moon], sun, and all the host of heaven led the [Giants] to the Unspoken Mistake. 45Queen Lestha was henceforth known through both kingdoms as the last of the [Giant] females.

46We should not have trusted the prophets of Baal whose forecasts and divining became as those who turn the wise backwards and [render] the knowledgeable foolish. I [already] have spoken of their death [judgement].

47In this season the smaller selves were found in both lands. From that time forth, only the smaller self females were [trained] to serve in the temples as priestesses and sorceresses.  The proper use of smaller selves were as [slaves], temple [servants] and food for the [Giants]. 48The smaller self men indeed became [food] for the [Giants] and their male [offspring] were indeed [burnt] in sacrifice to Baal of the earth in the hills above the Kingdom of Og.
49Nimrod’s kingdom chose to circumcise the [males] of  smaller selves. He allowed the smaller selves to [marry]. He didn’t [sacrifice] their [offspring], as the Rephaim did. Circumcised Nimrod became the [champion] of the smaller selves and their great circumcised hunter.


50My teeth grind and my throat [rumbles] as I tell Anak the [root] of my hatred with hope that the fruit will bear upward.

51In Queen Lestha’s 375th year, [fifty years] after the Unspoken Mistake, Baal of the moon’s sorceresses prophesied that she would be with  a Rephaim [Moonchild]. 52Lestha was past the years of [child-bearing] and still [afflicted] by the [wounds] of Ogias the Inheritor’s [birth].

53Lestha [mocked] and ridiculed the [sorceresses] to scorn for the prophecy. She laughed and told them she was past her time of [child-bearing]. 54The priestesses warned Lestha not to mock Baal of the moon.

55“After I am worn and waxed old and my Og is old, too, will we have delight?” She yelled.

56“How am I, the last of the Rephaim females bearing to have a child of the moon?” She mocked.

57In Lestha’s anger, she [removed] herself from the place of worship to her forest, and resided there
until the end of her days.

59The sacrifices continued. The sorceresses then [prophesied], saying “Baal will bring Og’s history forth. The [Moonchild] of Og will be Baal’s Legacy,” and “The Unspoken Mistake has killed it’s thousands and the [Moonchild] will restore tens of thousands.”

59The [Moonchild] was Baal of the moon’s [most fertile] gift to prolong the Rephaim and Nephilim [species]. The [most fertile] gift required [heavy] sacrifice. For seven months, under the moon, the drums were beaten which shook the firmament of the land. 60We slaughtered and sacrificed [innumerable] smaller self [infants] and males in the high places. The [undrunk] blood [rolled] through the [block] [stone] channels to the [lower earth]. 61The burnt offerings of the smaller self [infants] and males [smoldered] and [darkened] the skies.

62For seven months we seared the flesh of the smaller selves for the [Moonchild]. We ate the flesh and drank the blood in the sight of Baal of the moon. We never [doubted]. When the [seventh] month [had passed], 63Lestha had grown heavy with [Moonchild]. She then went into labor, toiling with the [Moonchild] for many days. The sorceresses [flayed] themselves [mightily] before Baal of the moon. Many died. 64On the seventh day, the [Moonchild], the last female Rephaim was born.

65Lestha did not heal and soon turned [stiff]. I, Og laid myself out before Baal of the moon’s altar for two days. On the third day, Lestha died. 66With Queen Lestha’s [death], Baal of the moon’s promise had both [depleted] and [blessed] the Rephaim. 67In mourning Lestha, I celebrated the [Moonchild].

68At this time, Mot spoke through Nimrod’s sorceresses telling them that the suitor for the [Moonchild] was in Nimrod’s kingdom. This was another false prophecy that ended the [species] of [Giants].

69As I, Og, mourned the loss of Lestha, Nimrod and his military leaders traveled and visited the Kingdom of Og to view the [Moonchild]. 70Nimrod the circumcised then spoke to the [Giants] of Og’s Kingdom, and spoke of the prophecy of Mot. Nimrod requested that the [Moonchild] be raised in Mot’s temple in [his] Nephilim Kingdom. 71When Nimrod spoke, the darkness of Baal’s [spirit] and [truth] was in the air. Nimrod [told] us all the [Moonchild’s] purpose [would be] to breed in Mot’s [procreation] harvest. 72I, Og disagreed, and my [military] removed Nimrod and his circumcised military leaders from Og’s kingdom.

73Early in the [Moonchild’s] life, at a time of celebration and feasting, spies made their way to the [Moonchild’s] chambers to steal her away, for the [purposes] of Nimrod. 74When I, Og found the spies, I attacked with great [violence] and destructive [rage]. I did not know that the [Moonchild] was among them while I was in [combat] the [Moonchild] was wounded almost [unto] death.

75In the center hall, the remaining spies stood, and the army of Og stood aside, as I Og attacked with tooth and nail, bare hands and teeth, killing them all with no weapons. 76In my anger, I slew thirty [Giants] with my fists. As I tore and ripped into the [Giants], I learned of their circumcision. 77I learned from their bloody [corpses] that they were from the circumcised kingdom of Nimrod.
78The false prophecy of Mot and the treachery of Nimrod begat the seeds that soon grew to become the Hundred Thousand Giant War.

79For this and more I hate Nimrod with all of the hatred I have in my intact loins. His circumcised offenses against the [Moonchild] and the Kingdom of Og demanded a whole-membered response. 80The tales of how I, Og, got my terrible hands upon Nimrod the circumcised. How I broke him into [glistening] wet [entrails] and [pieces]. How I, Og, allowed my son Ogias to participate in the killing of Nimrod the circumcised. Has that tale not been told to Anak the keeper of the Bodies?


Chapter 2B has been put up online at the official site for THE LOST BOOK OF KING OG.

I just got clearance from Father Martin who was cleared by his supervisors to put it online. I made the argument with him pretty strong today that these chapters are damn near unsearchable the way he insists that they are online. He is a real fan of having one massive document online. I have pushed multiple times for chapter breakouts, but that old Jesuit is having none of it.

The best I can do is extract these chapters and drop them here in my blog.

What sticks out about this chapter is that King Og has lost his wife Lestha and he is in the middle of losing his Moonchild.

In short, King Og is in dire straits. So he fasts and prays in a temple and then busts off with one of the wickedest prophecies I have ever read. Baal of the earth, moon, water, sun, stars and celestial bodies all step up (all are different entities) to speak through Og. Also, Mot speaks from the underworld.

I read this thing and all afternoon I have been wondering about King Og's method. He chains himself into a temple and waits to hear from the gods he worships. Its like, Og was setting prayer standards that were later adopted and used by christians.

Speaking of christians, again, this section really feels Biblical. I am sure that if I was to do the time, I would be able to see how common some of the phrases that Og used were. In fact, the argument is growing in my mind that early christians had much more access to the LOST BOOK OF KING OG than the Vatican has ever let on.

There is more to say, but I have a lot to do, and I wanted to just drop this and get back to it later.




1It is known that as the [Moonchild] lay close to death in the temple of Baal of the Moon. King Og  [then] clothed himself with a long white robe with a golden sash across his chest. 2He refused food and drink and chained his arms by the rings within the temple of Baal of the Moon. In his right hand he held seven weapons. 3Og hung upon chains while standing for seven days, until the death of the [Moonchild]. Only the smaller self sorceresses and I Anak, Keeper of the Dead, attended him.

4In his trance, Og’s seven braids fell about his head and his eyes darkened and turned inward. The temple of Baal of the Moon was closed as Og hung before Baal and pleaded for the life of the [Moonchild]. 5 So when the elders of the Rephaim went to the temple of Baal of the moon to rid Og of his chains, they were refused. He would not be freed, nor would he eat food with them.

6On the third day of Og’s hanging silence in the temple of Baal of the moon, he raised his head and spoke the prophecy.  On the third day, Og’s hair turned as white wool. His eyes became clear yet as a flame of fire. 7His body began to glow dull, as burnished bronze. His face became as the sun shining full force. His voice became as the sounds of the great waters [to come]. 8I, Anak Keeper of the Bodies did both observe and transcribe the [prophetic] words of King Og at this time. This is Og’s prophecy that pitted the Rephaim against the Nephilim in the Hundred Thousand Giant War as transcribed by I Anak:


9Do not be afraid, for I am Baal of the earth. The first and the last. I am the living one. I am alive forever and ever.
10I, Baal of the earth know your works, your toils and your patient endurance with the abomination. 11I know that you cannot tolerate the circumcision. I know that you have tested the Rephaim that claim to be whole-membered and found some to be false.
12It is to your credit that you hate Nimrod, who I also hate.
13I, Baal of the earth, know of your affliction and of the [Moonchild]. I know that the slander of the circumcised is spoken against you. 14Do not fear for the war that you are about to suffer. Be faithful to Baal of the earth and abhor circumcision until your death and I will give you rewards. 15Let he who has ears listen to what Baal of the earth has to say through his servant Og.


16And I saw the [Moonchild] clothed with the sun and the moon at her feet. On her head was the crown of the Rephaim. She was pregnant and crying out in birthpangs in the agony of giving birth. 17Then the great circumcised dragon, with seven heads and ten horns appeared before the [Moonchild]. The dragon stood before the [Moonchild] ready to devour the new Rephaim as soon as it was born. 18And the [Moonchild] gave birth to a son, a male child who was to rule all of the [Giant] nations with a rod of iron. But the [Moonchild’s] son was snatched from her and eaten by the dragon, and the [Moonchild] went to the wilderness to die, as a victim of the uncircumcised.

19 For the sins against the [Moonchild] are heaped high to heaven, and Baal of the moon will not forgive the iniquity of her death. Render unto the [Moonchild] as she herself has rendered. 20Repay her land double for your circumcised deeds of destruction. The uncircumcised will mix a cup for the [Moonchild], a double draught to pour out in remembrance of her.

21For in the [Moonchild’s] heart she was a queen, and she will never see grief.  

22Therefore the plagues of Baal and Mot will come to Nimrod in a single day. Pestilence, mourning and famine for the circumcised. For she was killed by Nimrod, and the hour of his judgement has come.
23Do not be afraid, for I am Baal of the moon. I will avenge the [Moonchild] and I will deliver Nimrod into your own hands.

24To the circumcised:

I know where you are living, where Nimrod’s throne is. Yet you Nephilim hold fast to your [irreversible] circumcision. The stupid [Giants] hold to the teachings of Nimrod who through circumcision has placed a stumbling block before all of them. 25You circumcised will throw dust upon your heads. You circumcised will weep and mourn as you are killed and tied to trees for the beasts and [carrion] to consume. 26For you have laid waste to the [Moonchild]. Baal of the moon rises in judgement for her. I will drop a star from the sky upon you, o circumcised Nephilim. With such violence, Nimrod’s great cities will be thrown down. 27The sounds of harpists and minstrels and flutists and trumpeters will be heard in Nimrod’s land no more. Artisans of any trade will be found in Nimrod’s land no more. The light of lamps will not be found in Nimrod’s land anymore. 28For Nimrod and his entire nation were deceived by sorcery, and all of his prophets will be slaughtered by servants of Baal of the moon for the loss of the [Moonchild].


29Behold the words of Baal of the sun. I hold this against the Rephaim, that you tolerate the [Giant] Nimrod who calls himself a great hunter and is teaching and beguiling the Rephaim to practice circumcision and not sacrifice the smaller selves. 30I gave him time to repent but Nimrod refuses to repent of his circumcision. Beware, I am throwing Nimrod on a bed, and those that practice circumcision with him I am sending my servant Og to bring them great distress.

31Og will strike down Nimrod’s circumcised with death. All of the land will know that Baal of the sun does not respect the circumcised.

32To Og I will give authority over the nations and people. To rule them with an iron rod, as when the clay pots are shattered. I Baal of the sun will give Og the morning star.

33Look before you, I have set an open door, which no one is able to shut. A door of victory over the circumcised. I will keep you to hold fast to what you have so that no circumcised may seize the crown of Og. 34I will make Og a pillar in the temple of Baal of the sun.

35And I Baal of the sun call for the Hundred Thousand Giant War, where the circumcised will finally be [eradicated]. 36I Baal of the sun that sits in the throne that looks like jasper and carnelian. All around my throne is the emerald floor and my twenty four servants all wearing golden crowns and white robes.  37Coming from all of our thrones will be flashes of lightning, and rumblings and peals of thunder. 38And under this there will be a multitude of Rephaim, from all tribes and people and languages standing before Baal of the sun with palm trees in their hands screaming in a loud voice, “Victory belongs to the uncircumcised who are seated in the Kingdom of Og! Let there be blessings and glory and wisdom and honor and power and might to Baal of the sun forever and ever!”

39These are the Rephaim that fight the great war against circumcision. They have not spilled the blood of their members for Nimrod. For this reason, the Rephaim are before the thrones of Baal of the sun and his twenty four servants, who worship him day and night in his temple. 40The Rephaim will hunger no more, and thirst no more and the sun will not strike them nor any of its scorching heat, for Baal of the sun has spoken.


41Behold, it is I, Baal of the water, with my four guardians standing in the corners of the great land. The guardians that hold back the winds so that no wind will blow against any temple of Baal or against the uncircumcised. 42Yet I, Baal of the water, called to my guardians who are [empowered] to damage the great land and the seas until the circumcised have been ridded from the great land.

43Prepare, circumcised followers of Nimrod to have your stomachs to turn sour. Prepare for your [spittle] to dry in your mouth. Prepare for your skin to be tight from lack of water. Prepare to be unable to bathe. 44Prepare for your terrible beasts to die of thirst. For I, Baal of the water have left your circumcised land.


45Let there be silence in the heavens for more than an hour, for Baal of the stars and celestial bodies has a message for the Rephaim. 46After the silence, Baal of the stars and celestial bodies will throw his censer filled with fire to earth; and there will be peals of thunder, rumblings, flashes or lightning and earthquakes. 47There will be hail and fire mixed with blood as the circumcised are dashed to the earth. A third of Nimrod’s kingdom will be burned and a third of his trees burned and all of the green grass in his land.

48Baal of the stars and celestial bodies will [drop] a great star from heaven, blazing like a torch upon Nimrod, his circumcised Nephilim and his rivers. 49The name of the star is [Uncircumcised Worm] and Nimrod’s waters have become bitter, like the blood of a corpse and many of his circumcised Nephilim will die from it.

50On that day, Baal of the stars and celestial bodies will strike a third of the sun and a third of the moon and a third of all stars so that a third of Nimrod’s light is darkened. 51Woe to the inhabitants of Nimrod’s circumcised land. They shall be plunged into darkness, where the Nephilim will gnaw at their own tongues in agony, and they will be covered with pain and sores. 52Nimrod’s great city will be split into three parts by an earthquake. The wrath of Baal of the stars and celestial bodies will be poured out upon Nimrod and his kingdom, and the wine-cup of the fury of his wrath will be splashed about. 53And all of Nimrod’s land will sink, and no mountains will be found and huge hailstones weighing about a hundred pounds will be dropped from the celestial bodies upon the circumcised until they curse Baal of the stars and celestial bodies because of their corrupted members.

54I, Baal of the stars and celestial bodies will then drop a star upon the great land that will fall through the earth, into the bottomless pit and the shaft of the pit will be opened and smoke will rise like that of a great furnace from the center of the earth.  
 55For Baal of the stars and celestial bodies will release Mot from the underworld.

56Behold the words of Mot, and behold the locusts that I will bring upon the land of Nimrod. Behold the uncontrollable scorpions that I will release upon the circumcised. 57The scorpions that damage the remaining grass and trees in Nimrod’s land. The scorpions that will destroy all except those who have not carved their members in the rites of circumcision. Those that are circumcised shall be tortured and killed. 58Their torture will be the stings of scorpions. The circumcised will seek death and not find it, until Og delivers it to them.

59I will make Nimrod’s land a dwelling place of demons. A haunt of every foul spirit, a haunt of every foul bird, a haunt of every foul and hateful beast. 60This is to come along with more.

61Behold the plagues that I Mot will bring upon the circumcised from the underworld: Locusts as large as horses with human faces, hair like women’s hair and teeth like lions’ teeth, with armored scales, wings and stingers on their tails for the uncircumcised Rephaim to attack with, for I, Mot stand over the bottomless pit of the underworld.  62I will empower the uncircumcised to kill one third of the circumcised inhabitants of Nimrod’s land. I will empower them to kill the circumcised while riding beasts that breathe smoke as the Rephaim [warriors] wear breastplates the color of fire, sapphire, and sulfur.

63The rest of the great land who remain [undecided] concerning the act of carving their members will face me as I arise from the underworld. I know your works, you are neither circumcised or not. You are lukewarm in regards to the [governing] of your members. 64I will spit upon you, while wrapped in smoke, with the dark color of oily water above my head. My face will be as the sun and my legs as pillars of fire. I will raise my right hand to the sky and swear by the underworld that there will be no more delay in the death of the uncircumcised.

65The uncircumcised will say, “I am rich I have prospered and I need nothing.” Yet you fools will not realize that you are circumcised, wretched, pitiable, poor, blind and naked. 66Therefore I counsel you that you never cut your foreskin that you may be rich and robes of purple clothe you.  Behold, my servant Og stands at your uncircumcised door and knocks. If you heed his voice and open the door and remain uncircumcised, the kingdom of the Rephaim will enter into your home and eat with you. Let anyone who has an ear listen to what Mot has to say to the circumcised and the uncircumcised alike.


67So spoke the prophet Og while chained to the bracelets of the temple of Baal of the earth. 68I warn every [Giant] that hears the words of prophecy from King Og, if anyone adds to them, Baal of the earth will add to that [Giant the plagues described in this prophecy. If anyone takes away from the words that are in King Og’s prophecy, Baal of the earth shall take away that [Giant’s] share in the whole of the great land that will belong to Og. Thus saith Anak Keeper of the Bodies.


69And it came to pass that on the seventh day Og spent chained in the temple that the [Moonchild] died. 70The servants, sorceresses and elder Rephaim were afraid to arouse Og from his miserable chains to tell him that the [Moonchild] was dead. 71For they said, “Indeed while the [Moonchild] was still alive, we spoke to him and he would not heed our voice. How can we tell him that the [Moonchild] is dead? He may do us all some harm!”

72When Og saw that the servants, sorceresses and elder Rephaim were whispering, Og perceived that the [Moonchild] was dead. Therefore, Og said to the gathering crowd from his chains, “Is the [Moonchild] dead? And they all said “She is dead.”
73So Og arose and unbuckled from his chains. He washed and re-braided his hair, anointed his beard, changed his clothes and went to the temple of Baal of the moon and worshiped. 75Then he went to his own [palace] and when he requested, his smaller self servants set meat before him and he ate. 76Then his smaller self servants said to him, “What is this that you have done? You have fasted and wept for the [Moonchild] while she was alive, but when the [Moonchild] died, you arose and ate food.”

77So Og said, “While the [Moonchild] was still alive, I fasted and wept, for I said, ‘Who can tell whether Baal of the moon will be gracious to the Rephaim that the [Moonchild] may live? But now that the [Moonchild] is dead, why should I fast? 78Can I bring her back again? When I die, I shall go to the [Moonchild] but she will not return to me.

79It was on this day that Og sent messengers to [Giants] throughout the great land and beyond, to join him in war against Nimrod because of the death of the [Moonchild] and because of their adherence to circumcision, which is disrespectful to the gods.80In this way, the Hundred Thousand [Giant] War began.

DNRS: A November Limbic System Retraining Update

My friends,

Many of you have chronic, invisible illness and are wondering if you should try DNRS (the Dynamic Neural Retraining System). Some of you are wondering if you should refer your friends and family to DNRS. I've been doing the program for four months now, and here is my advice those with lyme disease, ME, CIRS, POTS, fibromyalgia and more:

Do it.

Absolutely, 100% try this.

I continue to observe encouraging changes in my body, and I am confident this works for those with limbic system injuries.

I posted about my progress early in the program, but I didn't detail how very up and down those first months were. I'd have an enormous break-through one day, and feel back at square one the next. Since then, I continue to have significant ups and downs, but I have longer "ups" — sometimes lasting days at a time — as my brain heals and body stabilizes.

The biggest change I see is a newfound freedom to hope and dream about the future. For so long, I devoted most of my hope to small tasks: "I hope I can get out of bed to teach two mornings this week." "I hope I have energy to shower today." "I hope I can be upright long enough to make myself dinner." These goals often felt unobtainable.

I still find myself hoping for these small things during particularly challenging days or weeks, but the hoping feels realistic. I'll probably be able to cook dinner for myself tonight. 

I also find myself hoping for big things: "I hope to work full time soon." "I hope to be running again soon." "I hope to working on my writing project again soon." And it's the wildest thing: these hopes feel realistic, too! These things will probably happen. 

You guys. I cannot tell you the last time I dared to dream something big about the future AND felt like it was a realistic possibility.

Recently, I've especially loved dreaming about traveling internationally. I'm perusing the internet for travel ideas and mentally planning trips, and though I don't know when my body will be ready for this sort of travel, the dreaming is a delight. In an effort to practice hope, I went ahead and renewed my passport. It came last week, and it was one of the happiest packages I've ever received.

Here are some of the other changes I've observed in myself since my last update in early September:

1. I can practice the piano again. For six years, neurological challenges made short practice sessions painful and longer practice sessions impossible. But in September, I was suddenly able to play Chopin for an hour straight, and it felt nourishing – like I was eating vegetable stew after a steady diet of bread and cheese.

2. For years, I've tried to push through physical challenges to go on short walks, much to my body's detriment. Eventually, as per my doctor's instruction, I stopped walking except when my symptoms were quieter — which wasn't often. When I did go on walks, I felt much worse afterward and often spent days recovering. However, since September, I've been able to walk more often — sometimes a few times a week — AND the walking makes me feel better. I'd forgotten what the benefits of exercise feel like!
Walking with Mama and Roo!

3. Going to the grocery store used to be such a challenge. If I had the stamina to go, the lights, smells, sounds, and movement made me wildly sick. However, the last several times I've gone to the grocery store, I've zipped in and out with no problems at all!

4. I traveled twice last month — once to northern California, and once to Washington. I was nervous about whether or not I'd be able to handle it, and I did!
Soaking up Washington's glorious fall

5. I got my first full-blown cold in several years, which is a sign of my immune system coming back online. This summer, a week after starting DNRS, I got a cold, but the symptoms only lasted one day before autoimmune mode returned. Last month's cold, however, progressed like a normal cold. Woo hoo! (To my friends doing DNRS: my cold triggered preexisting physical challenges, so if your first cold isn't 100% normal, you're not alone. We'll get to complete normalcy soon, though!).

6. I experience pockets during which reading feels natural and easy.

7. My fingernails used to have deep ridges in them. These ridges are a sign of malnourishment and extreme infection, BUT the ridges are beginning to disappear!

8. In the past, it has been hard to listen to music because of the energy the brain needs to process sound. Talking to people has been hard, too (this is still a big area of training for me), and talking to people with the radio on was absolutely impossible. But last month, while driving in the car with a friend, I noticed we'd been talking for 1/2 hour with the radio ON. Yeaaaah, Baby.

9. I've been a front seat passenger in the car a number of times in the last month, and those trips have been relatively easy! (They used to always be horribly difficult).

10. I've been to church five times this semester, and four of those times were relatively easy!

11. My rest is generally more restful as my brain heals and my body follows suit.

Friends, if you're doing DNRS and haven't signed up for a coach, I recommend you do at least one coaching session. My coach validated the difficulty of this process and confirmed its up-and-down nature, which made me feel normal. She's also helped me with areas of training that have been particularly hard and slow for me, and she's given me tips that have helped across all areas of training.

If you have been praying for me on this journey, here are some ways you can pray these days:

1. For perseverance — limbic system retraining is hard, the sawtooth nature of this journey continues to be really hard, and this semester has been filled with some pretty tough life stuff.

2. For joy and hope on the harder days and weeks.

3. For complete healing sooner rather than later.

4. For wisdom as I continue to learn how to best care for myself on this healing journey.

5. For protection from the Enemy. There's been an uncanny pattern this semester: each time I make progress, something difficult happens to trigger greater physical challenges. Thankfully, I rebound from the effects of the trigger after a couple of weeks (the ability to bounce back is a huge improvement!), but just as soon as I begin to progress again, I'm exposed to another trigger, and the pattern continues. I suspect this pattern is the result of spiritual attack.

6. For provision for my needs.

7. This request feels a bit frivolous, but important: would you pray that I'd be able to take that international trip one day?! Gosh, that would be a glorious victory.

Thank you for walking this journey with me, Friends.

I'm cheering for you,


For more information on DNRS, visit the website HERE and my overview HERE

(Note: it would be impossible to thoroughly explain the program here -- you'd need to participate in the four-day workshop, either in person or via DVD, to begin to understand it, so my overview is relatively brief).

Also: If you're doing DNRS, would you share your progress in the comments below?! Reading about your progress is so encouraging for all of us on this journey!

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