Shower Caps

Shower caps are so overrated. That's what I discovered ten years ago when I wrapped up my track career.

During my years of college track, I trained for hours everyday in the hot sun, and my hair needed daily washing. But when those long, sweaty workouts ceased, the hair-washing skies parted and glorious light shone forth: I could wash my hair every other day — or maybe every two days. Think of the time and effort I could save! And then I inched toward middle age and decided that a hair-wash every 3-4 days was acceptable because DRY SHAMPOO.

What a luxury.

But here is the thing about shower caps: the free shower caps hotels give you are big enough to cover your bangs, if you have them, but if you have a pony tail: good luck keeping that baby dry with such an itty bitty piece of plastic. I suppose you could run to Target and buy a shower cap big enough to cover your ponytail, but that seems like a waste because GROCERY BAGS.

What I am about to tell you may change your life.

When it is shower time, grab the nearest plastic grocery bag and slip it over your hair, with the handles down near the nape of your neck. Tie the handles into a nice, firm knot, and voila! You are ready to shower.

Folks, this trick will save you money — at least $3 (go buy yourself a latte!) — and time, and it will save you if you're in a bind. For example, if you have traveled to your college roommate's hometown for her wedding, and you do not want to wash your hair before the rehearsal dinner because you intend to wash it the next morning before the wedding, all you gotta do is borrow a grocery bag from your roommate's mom.

My college roommate's dad surreptitiously took this photo because, well, because I was standing in the hall talking to his family with a plastic bag on my head.

College roommate, Rach and I

It's easy as 1-2-3.

Happy Monday, folks.


P.S. I don't buy dry shampoo either. Noooo waaay, Jose; I save myself a dollar (and exposure to the additives in dry shampoo) and use a family trick. Click here for all the deets.

© by scj

Sunday evening

Sunday evening dreaming:


Chapter 6 has been cleared and is up online at THE LOST BOOK OF KING OG in its continuous form. Currently,  my contract with  Father Martin demands that I have all of the chapters up in one continuous document. He won't budge on its presentation. What a Luddite. The best I can do is have a breakout here in my own blog.

My first impressions of this chapter are as follows:
1. This seems to be much more intact than other chapters. There are no ellipses in this chapter. This means that the document was whole.

2. There is an absolute concern with the rite of circumcision. It seems that the practice started with Nimrod and continued to get its footing in ancient society until the Hebrews adopted it and really ran with it.

3. These texts pre-date the Bible and might be the only surviving document that speaks of Antediluvian life that is directly associated with that book.

4. Wording throughout the text feels familiar in the sense that it is "Biblical sounding." I amforced to wonder how popular a document this was, because elements of the verbiage definitely show up later in in Old Testament. My suspicion is that these documents were passed around regularly until the memory of giants had faded a bit.

There is more, but I just read the thing last night. 




It came to pass that the Kingdom and army of Og fasted before their [march] to Bashan. On the fifth day of fasting the whole of Og's encampment began to [smoke] and fire came down. The fire struck the sacrifices in the high places because Baal of the sun and Baal of the earth were there. The ground of the temple and the paths leading to it became [charged] on the fifth day with the presence of Baal of the earth and Baal of the sun. Many Rephaim attempted to climb the hill at the time of Og's prophecy and were struck dead with fire when they touched the [charged] ground.
On that day in the [temple] of Baal of the earth, Og received the [prophecy]. On that day Og's eyes [whitened] and [he] fell into the solemn [forecaster] trance. King Og, of the [temple] became Baal of the earth's [medium]. On that day, Og's voice became like that of a [metal] war-trumpet speaking the words of Baal of the earth.
 Og, King of the Rephaim, survivor of the great waters, killer of Nimrod and born of the priesthood of Baal of the earth [spoke] the words of Baal. Og spoke the prophecy before the [march] to Bashan. The prophecy of the rules, and wrath of Baal and the curses upon the [barriers] of Bashan do they not follow as [spoken] by Og and transcribed by Anak the Keeper of the Bodies?

₁₀Baal of the earth agrees with this vessel Og [proceeding]: Honor the high places that worship Baal of the earth. Only the priests will [be admitted] to the high places. ₁₁Anyone that has touched the mount or its [border], whosoever touches it, as he lives will surely be sacrificed to Baal of the earth. ₁₂Before he is burned, he will be stoned and run through with a spear. ₁₃The [testimony] of such deaths, will be kept in the high places of worship. ₁₄The high places of worship will be covered with gold inside and out with a gold crown and a rim or border around the top. Rings will be attached to the outer walls for worship [chains] and [bracelets], and staves will be put into the rings for the Rephaim to carry the high place to its next resting place in Bashan.

Never forget the Unspoken Mistake. 

₁₅I am Baal of the earth [Who] brought you victory in the Hundred Thousand Giant War. [Who] brought you out of the waters of death and bondage and the slavery of the [older] world.

₁₆Any Rephaim that sacrifices to any other god save Baal of the earth, Baal of the moon, Baal of the sun, Baal of the water, or Baal of the stars and heavenly bodies is cursed. ₁₇If a Rephaim worships Mot, let it be a dishonor to him and a pathway to the worship of Baal of the earth. ₁₈Any Rephaim that sacrifices to another [insect-sized] god will be utterly destroyed with a wrath that waxes hot. ₁₉Any Rephaim that brings other gods before me, I will spill his entrails out on the path. ₂₀Any of you [Rephaim] who worships another will be cut down with the sword and sacrificed with flames, and your sacrifice shall be eaten by your fellow [Giants].

₂₁Behold you uncircumcised Repahim, do not cut your members with circumcision as those that worship [insect-sized] gods do. If a [Giant] breaks covenant with his loins by cutting them, [Baal] will break my covenant with him.₂₂It is an abomination to have a mangled [member]. Any Rephaim who cuts his own [member] with circumcision shall also forever be cut off from Baal of the earth. ₂₃Will his torn flesh ever grow back and cover?  Nor will Baal welcome that [Giant] back or cover him with protection. Baal of the earth will deal treacherously with him. ₂₄Wrathful hostility will be his [existence]. ₂₅Baal of the sun will turn away from him and burn him, as a farmer turns from a degenerate crop and [immolates] the field.

₂₆I will appoint over all [carved loined] Rephaim a sudden terror, consumption and fever that will waste away the eyes and cause the soul to pine away. ₂₇Whatever profit a circumcised Rephaim seeks to [secure], his enemies will [eat away]. All this and more will be visited upon those [Giants] who stubbornly choose to [mar] their loins. ₂₈For the [wages] for circumcision are death the gift of intact loins is life. Circumcision for any [purpose] is an abomination for there is no [purpose]. ₂₉The carving of loins is a visible curse upon any Rephaim who chooses it. A useless [shortened] vessel is an abomination to the [Giant] that owns it.
₃₀When the circumcised [Giants] sprouted throughout the lands like grass and all who [religiously] cut their members flourished, ₃₁It was so that Baal could destroy them [forevermore]. Baal of the earth will bring back their curse of circumcision upon them and utterly destroy them and their corrupted [members]. ₃₂Baal of the earth will visit destruction upon them and Baal of the sun will consume their [corrupted members] and [foreskins].₃₃ Baal of the sun is revealed from [beyond] against the unrighteous circumcised [Giants] that stand before Og and are a barrier before Bashan.

Never forget the Unspoken Mistake.

₃₄Make idols of Baal. Make them of silver, and gold. Make graven images to Baal at the base of the high places. Make graven images of Baal that are of heaven above or that is in the water that is beneath the earth or of the earth itself.₃₅Inscribe upon them, the outer walls of the temple and upon the sacred [swords] the [runes] of Baal. Make an altar in the high place to sacrifice only the smaller self children.₃₆Build an altar of hewn stone. Lift the stones with fist or rock. Sacrifice only the lives of the children of the smaller selves on the altar. ₃₇Eat the burned [morsels] and no [pollution] shall come of it if you fear Baal of the earth.

₃₈If you own a smaller self [male] and do not eat him for six years, then on the seventh, he can take a smaller self priestess as a wife.₃₉ If the smaller self wife bears a male child by him, the male [infant] is to be sacrificed with fire. ₄₀If the smaller self wife bears a female child the female child will be spared to become a sorceress in the high places.

₄₁If Baal is to be known, he must first know you.
₄₂If Baal is to be approached, bring a sacrifice of [life] worthy of him.
₄₃If you are to be heard by Baal You must open your throat and [gravel].

₄₄Worship Baal with debauchery, lust, drunkenness, carousing and [proper] idolatry. ₄₅Listen [intently] to Baal's moving, large voice.₄₆ Drink wine and not water to protect your stomach from the illness of [polluted] sacrificial meat.₄₇ Eat sacrificial meat with fervor and drink wine [lustily]. It is for the followers of Baal of the earth to drink wine and to crave strong drink and beer.₄₈Drink and forget what the other gods have decreed, despise the followers of false gods and their rights.For Baal of the earth has approved of what you do. ₄₉Be wise, wine is [your] mocker and beer is [your] brawler. Pound the drums at the bottom of the hill. Be led by them in the worship of Baal of the earth. Be drunk and immoral as Baal requests. Be so drunk as to not tell between pure and [impurity]. ₅₀Be drunken and stubborn for Baal. Drink intoxicating drink [fermented] in the wilderness. You will control the poison of serpents and the cruel venom of asps in your stupor, Baal of the earth has seen to it. ₅₁Your [drunkenness] in the name of Baal of the earth will cover you, and you will do no wrong before him. Gaze into the wine when it is red and when it sparkles in the cup, when it goes down smoothly.

₅₂Blessings be to you who get up early to drink and stay up at night to get drunk before Baal of the earth. Linger long at the wine. Go in search of mixed wine. Your eyes will see strange things, and your heart will utter perverse things. Let us behave indecently in the daytime before Baal of the earth. ₅₃Carousing in our [drunkenness], in debauchery and in dissension and jealousy for Baal of the earth. ₅₄Yes you will be like the ones that lie down in the midst of the sea. Celebrate as only the uncircumcised of Baal do. Drink the wine, feast upon the sacrificial meat and be filled with the spirit of Baal of the earth.  

₅₅Baal of the earth who brings fertility and makes the grass grow for the beasts of old, and plants for the Rephaim to cultivate and bring forth food from the land. Baal who brings [large] grapevines that gladden Rephaim hearts with wine.₅₆Baal who brings oil to make Repahim faces shine and for the bread that sustains the bellies. ₅₇Baal of the earth has sworn by his right [burning] hand, "Never again will I give your grain as food for your enemies. The rebellious circumcised [Rephaim] barriers before Bashan will never again drink the new wine which comes as my blessing upon the land.

Never forget the Unspoken Mistake. 

₅₈Take the name of Baal of the earth in [vain] at regular [intervals]. It is to be both used as a commandment and a [curse] for your enemies. ₅₉Baal of the earth understands the [need]. Keep your days in remembrance of Baal of the earth. ₆₀Do your work on all days and rest when the job is [finished] as the Bright ones did not stop [work] until it was complete.

₆₁Kill and kill again when necessary. Life is [properly] sacrificed when [dispatched] by a servant of Baal of the earth. Always avenge yourself. That which you cannot, leave to Baal for the avenging ends with him. ₆₂Take anything, when [needed]. Bear false witness to [secure] safety. Covet your neighbor's house. Covet your neighbor's smaller selves, his ox and all that is his if it benefits Baal of the earth. ₆₃He that steals smaller selves from his neighbor shall only sacrifice the stolen lives to Baal with fire. ₆₄A fire that leaves only ash. This stolen meat that cannot be consumed.

₆₅If a [Rephaim] comes presumptuously upon his neighbor to slay him in the name of Baal of the earth, Baal of the earth cleanses the [Giant killer] and he becomes a warrior and a champion.₆₆ He that smiteth a giant with his [bare hand] so that he dies shall surely be called a warrior and a champion.₆₇ Head for head, eye for eye, hair for hair, limb for limb. Burning for burning, stripe for stripe. The [Rephaim] will mete out their own [ways] of [justice] before Baal of the earth. 
Never forget the Unspoken Mistake.

₆₈[Embrace] the fear that Baal of the earth is come to prove you, that his fear may be [in you]. Fear the wrath of Baal of the earth. For all deserve to spill their innards [as] sacrifice. ₆₉Since we have been cleansed in [sacrificial] flame we will serve wrath with Baal of the earth and Baal of the sun to the Barrier at Bashan. ₇₀It is a fearful thing to fall into the burning sacrifice of the living Baal of the earth. Tremble O earth at the presence of Baal. Fear Baal of the earth who will destroy both body and soul in the afterlife. Embrace the fear of Baal. ₇₁Behold the storm of Baal of the earth. Wrath has gone forth, a whirling tempest. A wrath that guides Og. It will burst upon the heads of those that stand as a barrier before the gates of Bashan.

₇₂Behold, from Baal's mouth comes the flaming [Driver and Chaser] which strike down the armies and will rule them with a flaming yoke of iron. ₇₃Baal of the earth will tread the winepress of his own fury and his enemies will drink deep unto death. ₇₄Baal of the earth's wrath will be as a mixed sour wine poured out and drunk by those who stand as barriers before Bashan. The wine of Baal's violence will mock and rage. The drunkenness will cause poverty, woe, sorrow, fighting, the peeling of skin, lesions without cause, and red eyes. ₇₅The sour wine of Baal will sting like an adder.  Those barriers of Bashan will be [drunk] and insensitive to pain, and they will drink more of the mixed sour wine which is Baal's corruption upon them. ₇₆Their good judgement will be perverted. They will drink more because they will perish from lesions and have no [anesthetics]. ₇₇Strong mixed drink will not satisfy. The land will not be blessed until the barriers of Bashan are removed. The sour mixed wine will be Baal of the earth's wrath upon them. ₇₈In their folly, they will champion drinkers, and they will become experts at mixing my poison. They will stagger and vomit. Their future will be hopeless before them. ₇₉They cannot escape the consequences when Baal of the earth judges them. Since they have not [listened], Baal of the earth is [committed to] driving them mad. ₈₀The sights they will see will affect their [intelligence]. ₈₁Baal of the earth will afflict their knees and legs with painful weeping [sores] than cannot be cured. Spreading from the soles of their feet where they tread upon the earth of Baal to the top of their head. Lesions will cover them that cannot be [soothed]. Itch will [fray] the edges of their skin. ₈₂The discomfort that makes their [minds] detach. In hunger and in thirst, in nakedness and in dire poverty. In madness and in the darkness they will finally serve Baal. ₈₃While covered with the lesions bringing forth rot and discomfort. ₈₄While in their clouded minds, Og will put an iron yoke upon their neck until they are destroyed. In their destruction they will desire to eat the flesh of their loved ones. ₈₅The hunger that Og will destroy them with as he eats their crops and livestock and loved ones will push them to insanity. ₈₆Unable to understand that which happens to them, the land of Bashan becomes a dark [question] to them. ₈₇They will desire to eat their own yellowing [entrails] to end it all. This will be their perfect madness. Step aside, barrier. Make way for King Og! 

Never forget the Unspoken Mistake.

₈₈If these circumcised [Giants] do not yield before Og and his army and accept his terms Baal of the earth will release his plagues upon them. ₈₉Harsh and prolonged disasters and lingering, itching illnesses. ₉₀Their loins will weep and become [leprous]. Going on a journey will be painful. Those [itchy loined] circumcised transgressors against Og will be altogether destroyed. Their posterity will be cut off.

₉₁Baal of the earth's wrath is just. Keep your heart impertinent and hard O you worshipers of Baal of the earth! Store up wrath that Baal will release through you. Be prepared to release a [rage] that is capricious, self-indulgent, and irritable with the understanding that Baal of the earth means it so. ₉₂All who stand as barriers in Og's path, these curses and more will come upon them, for Og will be known as King Og of Bashan forever. ₉₃These curses, they will pursue you and overtake them until you are destroyed. Because they did not obey Baal of the earth and they stood as a barrier in the path of my chosen servant Og. Baal of the earth will destroy their wicked [house] and [kingdom].
₉₄Baal of the earth will also bring upon them every kind of sickness and terror [unspoken] now and forevermore. ₉₅They will sow and carry so much seed unto the field, Baal of the earth will assure with Baal of the sun that their harvest will be small. ₉₆We will send [insects] they have no name for and [worms] they cannot describe. Baal of the earth will withdraw all [fertility] blessings on the land. ₉₇Step aside, barrier. Make way for King Og! Step aside and allow Og the new King of Bashan to take his throne, thus says Baal of the earth.
₉₈Baal of the earth will drive them and the [circumcised] king who commands them to the sea. As they drown and rot they will become a horror and a proverb. They will become an object of scorn and ridicule to all who urinate upon their corpses. ₉₉Og whose hand I guide and who trembles at my word will require their slavery. 

₁₀₀Work out your servitude to Og with fear and trembling, O circumcised [Giants]. Fear Og and his servants who kill and burn and eat your bodies. Step aside, barrier. Make way for King Og!

₁₀₁If the barrier does not heed the words of Baal of the earth and clear a path for my servant Og, I will serve them to him to eat, while they are alive, and their eyes will be full of fear. ₁₀₂They will scream as Og consumes them [alive]. As Og takes and eats these your bodies in remembrance of Baal of the earth for the land of Bashan. ₁₀₃How they will be destroyed in a moment. Utterly swept away by unspoken terrors. Their bones will be broken and swallowed by one [hungrier] than them. ₁₀₄Og's wrath and power will be known. He will visit his violence upon the circumcised. He will visit vessels of wrath prepared by Baal of the earth for their destruction.
₁₀₅And through his shrewdness, Og will cause deceit to succeed by his influence. ₁₀₆He will magnify himself in appetite and stature. He will [oppose] the insect sized gods of their land and no circumcised agency will break him.
₁₀₇The way of Baal of the earth is a stronghold to the Rephaim. But a ruin to the circumcised servants of the other [stupid] gods. ₁₀₈These opponents revile the things of Baal of the earth that they do not understand. Like unreasoning animals, they are destroyed.

Never forget the Unspoken Mistake.

₁₀₉The circumcised will know and respect Baal of the earth.
₁₁₀The circumcised will solemnly respect Baal of the earth in His high places. Uncircumcised [Giants] will not wrangle about with words. They will respect Baal of the earth and not [ruin] the message for the [hearers]. ₁₁₁Step aside from Bashan O circumcised Rephaim that stand against Og.

₁₁₂Woe to those who have strayed from Baal of the earth, becoming circumcised and clutching to other insect-sized gods. ₁₁₃They have rebelled and speak lies against the high places. Baal of the earth will bring them down to the ground and tear their foundation bare. ₁₁₄Those that are uncircumcised and those who follow will be eaten in the midst by Og and his choice [hungry] warriors.

₁₁₅Og, in no way is [alarmed] by the circumcised [Rephaim] barrier before Bashan. ₁₁₆Because they are in Bashan it is a sign of destruction for them, and  of victory for Og. ₁₁₇I Baal of the earth, give Bashan to my servant Og. Og who brings their circumcised destruction. ₁₁₈Og who attacks with a full belly. ₁₁₉Og who receives Baal's fear and wrath in their circumcised shame. ₁₂₀Og, who has hardened [his heart] towards their [extinction].


The teenagers in my life are so hip. They use words like "lit" — as in "that song is lit" — and they totally don't say, "on fleek" anymore— as in "your dance moves are on fleek"— because that's so last year. I was just beginning to grasp what "on fleek" means when it went out of style, and it doesn't even matter that I one hundred percent understand how to use the word "lit" while it's current, because I am too old and un-hip to get away with it.

I've been blaming lots of things on my oldness these days. Last week I was grading essays in my bedroom when I heard an alarm go off. It sounded like it was on the other side of the wall my room shares with the neighbors' condo, so I assumed it was their alarm clock. When the alarm continued to beep for several minutes, I wondered if I should let the neighbors know.

And then I went downstairs to get some water and realized my oven timer's alarm was going off because I'd set it when I put pecans in the oven to bake 15 minutes earlier.

Don't mind me, neighbors. Apparently turning 32 inaugurates a whole new set of memory problems. I can't even begin to wonder what 80 will feel like.

Old person brain is the reason I accidentally wore my shirt inside out on Sunday, and it's the reason I decided to print my boarding pass for my flight back to L.A. a few days ago. "Why don't you just download the JetBlue app and pull up your boarding pass on your phone instead?" my mom asked.


Somehow, my mom's case of old person brain is less severe than mine.

And that's why I am so proud to say that I finally created a Facebook page for my blog AND I added social media icons to my blog's right margin so you can connect with me on social media. I found, linked, and embedded those icons all by myself, you guys. My technology game is totally on fleek this week.

Over the last couple of years, my readership has grown to the point that I don't know a lot of you. Some of you have emailed me to introduce yourselves, and I love that. Connecting with you is my favorite thing about blogging. So, would you connect with me on Facebook? Just click HERE, or click on the Facebook icon in the right margin, and you'll be directed to my new page.

And keep those emails (and Facebook messages!) coming. Seeing your face on Facebook is lovely, and hearing your stories is even lovelier.

 Hopeful, grace-filled Wednesday, my friends. I hope your day is totally lit.

Cheering for you, Home Skillets.


© by scj

Where's Waldo?

Hint: "Waldo" is fluffy and cute as can be.

Did you spot her?

© by scj


Father Martin has translated a list of giant names that show up in THE BOOK OF KING OG. He sent me an email earlier this week.

He stressed to me two things: One is that pronunciation has been part of the shaping of the names. The second is that most of the giants have a summary of some sort, as to their value in battle.

The most interesting part of the email that Father Martin wrote was that the particular section of THE BOOK OF KING OG that he is translating reminds him of the "begats" (those boring genealogies such as at the end of Genesis). Father Martin's note seemed almost giddy, as he is of the opinion that this chronicling of giants is much more interesting than any chronicling that he's ever read in the bible.

Father Martin mentioned Rephaim that were black and Rephaim that were redheads. He also said that there are also mentions of weaponry and Rephaim behaviors never known of before.

He stressed that I not reproduce his email. He did allow for the names of giants and one paragraph to be presented however (in fact, it is the only translated sections that he sent). Father Martin told me that these verses on "Lathat" are a good primer for the level of information on the giants:

"Lathat the Rephaim keeper of weapons. Who taught and killed with the [Driver and Chaser]. Lathat who worshiped Mot. Lathat who was [possessed] by powerful evil. Lathat's army was 1,000 [Giants]."

Father Martin mentioned that his study guide is being written at the same time as the text is being translated. A specific aspect of the study guide will be an explanation of how biblical scripture written after THE BOOK OF KING OG borrowed from the original giant's text. There will also be explanations of weaponry (such as the Driver and Chaser mentioned above).

The only other thing that Father Martin would let me reproduce is the names of the giants he has translated so far.  He wrote a lot about the phonetic soundings of names I will not present here. He made it clear that some of the more percussive elements of the language could only be managed by one in possession of  large, reverberating vocal chords.

I will just write the names out, as the information is not quite as interesting as the italicized paragraph above. My understanding is that each of the giants below is a high-ranking warrior with thousand(s) of Rephaim soldiers ranked underneath him. Notice above how it counts Lathat's army? Father Martin says that such a pattern runs through the verses, two or three descriptive notes and the amount commanded.

There is also mention of a merging of a different army from the east. He wrote about blue-eyed giants. King Og apparently hired them. Father Martin just threw that in the email as an outlier sentence. I might as well post it, because all the man does is whet my appetite and never deliver. But I digress.

Here are the names of giants cleared for mention from THE LOST BOOK OF KING OG:

Azath, Donath, Tarshen, Bestlam Arkrut, Pnoth, Yugthoth, Zakub, Balis, Skiron, Gug, Ag, Hastoor, Tarhunt, Myre, Arge, Kakus, Ceth, Korb, Lathat, Yebsu,  and Sondar.

The Hundred Thousand Giant War was antediluvian. THE LOST BOOK OF KING OG contains pieces of ancient history that students of antiquity have been desiring for thousands of years. When Father Martin is finally released to publish by the Vatican, I am sure it will be discussed at great lengths by theologians everywhere.

I'll get you more as it comes across my desk,

Back to the Gonteekwa,


The Story of a Leaf


© by scj


I'm in Washington for the week, and I'm relishing daily puppy snuggles and glorying in the expansive sky and flaming color.

 Upon my arrival earlier this week, Girlfren/Triangle Face/Dingleberry Girl/The Child/Golden Princess/Fluffy Face MaGhee (whose actual name is Roo!) greeted me with such affection, she literally bowled me over.

Roo the Red Rocket: I missed you, too! There ain't nobody or nothin' cuter than you.

Happy almost-weekend, my friends!


© by scj

The Story of an Apple

Please, may I have a bite of your apple?

Ah, now we can all live happily ever after.

The end.

© by scj
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